Need opinions about Mom's telephone

My mom has Alzheimer's Disease.  Sometimes she is lucid, but most of the time, not.

I pay about $40/month for her to have a telephone in her room at her nursing home, but when the phone rings, she doesn't answer it - I guess she doesn't understand what the ringing means. I have tried to use the phone in her room to call her friends/family, but that makes Mom anxious (I suspect because she realizes she's not always "with it" enough to carry on a telephone conversation, and is embarrassed to show that inadequacy).

Part of me wants Mom to have a phone by her bed in case she ever wants to call me (not that she would remember my phone number, or understand that the number I wrote down for her would reach me). Part of me says this expense is foolish.

It's not like Mom makes expensive long-distance phone calls (she doesn't use the phone at all).
And I'm not at all worried about the quality of care she receives, so I don't think she would call me for rescue or anything.

What do you think?

Thanks,
Jean

I think you already realize that your mom is not likely to use the phone. However, it is one of those things that if it makes you feel better that she has it, is worth the 40 dollars a month. It is one of the last vestiges of normal for you and your mom. Since your mom can't remember you number she won't call independently. If she want to talk with you, the nursing home staff can give you a call.
You will cancel the phone when you are ready to give that tie up.

Aloha sweet Jean and MERRY CHRISTMAS MORNING!

I think if you reread your thoughtful post, you will have given yourself your own answer. The telephone in your mother's room is for YOU, not for her. Follow your good heart and head and remove when YOU are ready. Love doesn't need a telephone to be shared.

Thank you for trusting us with such a personal question and your feelings about this.

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Hiya Jean,I think you have said it all. The phone is of no use to your mom. I know these decisions are hard,as you want her to have all the support she can,but this does not give her any support.
I know you will make the best decision.

When my mom first went into care she was 30 mi from home and clung to the cell phone I got her like it was a lifeline, which it was, a life line to the family who couldn't get into see her every day.   Once she was transferred back home  where everyone but us can get in to see her several times a week  the phone was much less important, in fact when she got worse for awhile,  she just wasn't able to handle the frustration of trying to remember how to use it .  I realized that for her to have the phone was more important to me so I could talk to her than it was for her to have it.   I made the choice not to pay for the phone anymore and use the money to get over to see her more.   that works for our situation.   You are in a tough situation with your moms condition.  My mom is simply getting old and forgetful,     God bless you for the obvious care you give your mom!!